Out.

Sometimes, I wonder how things came to this state. When I look back at all these years I have known you, almost my entire life, I can only see hurt, anger, sorrow, betrayal and pain. And I wonder why is that so. Everytime I say to myself that I hate you, I tell myself it isn't true. How can I possibly hate you? You are someone I shouldn't hate, right? You are someone who should be having the 'strongest love' for me and vice-versa right? You are someone, who should be the best for me.

HATE- to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest
Hate is strong. Really strong. Is that really the only thing I feel towards you? Somehow, I cannot bring myself to confirm that it is hate. Cos it shouldn't be. I have tried to love you before. I tried all these years. But I couldn't even come close to liking you. I tried pretending to love you. And you didn't allow me to do even that. You made it all so terrible, that I wasn't even able to maintain the facade.

All these years, I kept telling myself time will change everything and heal all wounds. I kept telling myself that one day, I will appreciate and love you with all my heart and things will be perfect. That one day, we will be able to look back at all the shit, and be able to laugh about it and put it behind us. But now, I am tired. I am tired of waiting for things to be better. I am tired of giving us a chance. I am tired, of wanting to be best friends with you. I am just tired, of you.

I wondered why, many others who have done more wrong to me, have a higher stand in my life than you. Then I realised its because, though I may be unhappy with what they did to me, there were still good in them and happy memories when I look back. But with you, not only I don't remember a single moment I was truly and whole-heartedly happy, but there wasn't even one moment, I remember you being a good person. You don't have values, you don't have respect, you don't have a conscience, you don't have a good heart.

And the best part to everything, or rather, the last straw to this whole shit, is the irony of YOU, amongst all the other people in my life, reminding me the pain of my situation EVERY single day. People say I should get the most support from you. But, it has always been the other way round, from the very start, from Day 1. And for this one thing, I will never be able to forgive you.

It has been just me all these years. I was able to wait. I was able to tolerate. I was able to take all the fucking pain. But now, it isn't just me anymore. I have someone to live for and be a good role-model to. And you know it yourself, I want nothing but ONLY the best for her. And you are nowhere amongst the best or even close to it. There is no way, I am gonna take this risk and allow you to make my daughter feel every way you made me feel. Neither am I able to wait for you to change anymore.

I have given up. I am calling it quits. I want you out.