A state of disbelief, in a happy way :)

I truly cannot believe my daughter has grown up so much. Its gonna be 11 months really soon and I really have no idea how all these months went past me. She is almost walking, she is talking, she dances, she claps, she shows her love, she knows exactly what she wants and she knows exactly how to get it. She is just amazing, a perfect angel. :)

I have gotten so used to making more and more new friends thanks to Little One. In just less than 11 months, she has sure made friends with half the world. And that's why, I am gonna have a huge headache doing up the guest list for her bday. If the venue can accommodate the entire world, I would definitely invite every single person who has been part of her life in one way or another. I am going crazy here with all the preparations. So much to do. And this desperate want, to have everything be perfect is not making it all any easier. Anyhow, I really cannot wait for the day to come. My Little One's Golden 1st. :) :)

And especially, at this point of time, I really don't know what I would do without you. I have managed to refrain myself from blogging about you all these time. But this time, you truly deserve it. With everything that is going on, I am not sure if I would have been able to manage it all this time, without you being around. You must be godsend, to have everything I never thought I will see again and for it to have even begun in the only way I always wanted it to. And there are times, I still cannot bring myself to believe this is happening for real. That I could have been so lucky. And that's why, I will say it again, God loves me so much, and more than that, he loves her too too much. You know. :)

I really wished I could buy time. So much to do in so little time always. And I really have to stop compromising on my rest and sleep because of everything else.

To you.I know you are not alright. And I feel terrible I cant make you feel better. It wont make anymore sense if I were to still stick around.There will come a day I will have to apologise to you, I am not sure if I will even be given that chance to do so, so I am saying it now. I am sorry that its gonna break you so badly. This is something I just cannot let go off, not for you, not for anyone, not for anything. I am sorry.

And to you. I am beginning to wonder why you even came back. It doesn't make sense. You don seem to be interested half the time. Its not like we need you here desperately either. I dunno. And it makes it all the more harder for me to be patient with you and welcome you wholeheartedly when I get to see everyday what you should be doing, being done by someone else, in a rather perfect way. I just hope and pray you will make the best out of this and someday, manage to find yourself back.

Okie, I gtg settle the draft for the invitations and decide on the places to go for cake-hunting tom! Will be back, hopefully soon enough. :)